Thursday, July 12, 2007

Harry Potter - The Order of the Phoenix



Like AIDs before it, Harry Potter Mania is leaving a trail of dead homosexuals and intravenous drug users in it's wake. Not really of course and we love everybody equally here at Gimcrack Solarium but today did see the release of the fifth Potter movie The Order of the Phoenix. We tried to get tickets for the preview this morning but it turns out you have to book these things in advance and not just arrive dressed as 90's rap sensation the Outhere Brothers. We thought about just making up a review without seeing the film but felt that would be a tad unfair. Having never seen any of the movies, let alone read any of the books we probably wouldn't have been the best people for the job. Luckily for us there's about 13 million reviewers over on imdb.com who have. Heres some choice quotes, enjoy!

note: if you dont want to find out that a dementor gets stabbed in the eye-hole don't read on

Author: THEWAND69 from United States:
I've never cheered so much during a Potter movie . . . and I've certainly never cried so much... I was sobbing. Literally sobbing in my seat. Everyone sitting next to me was crying as well, and I was crying so hard that I had to take off my glasses because I couldn't see.

Author: Ernest_Wordsworth_Jnr from United States:
Stupefied!!! Three Words- Potter 5 is BEST
It have been AMESOME...MOVIE IS PACED FAST AT CLIMAX. Yeah. That was bad...If you are planning to go to watch any other film, I must suggest you if you miss it than you'll be the most unlucky person.


Author: eire32 from Spain:
Firstly, Harry stabbed the dementor in the eye with his wand! What?!

Author: wizardsleeve608 from United States:
Poking a dementor in the eye when it is choking you? Seriously now

Author: two_pak from United States:
whoever decided that Grawp should look like a 20' middle-aged man with Down's Syndrome should be tortured for the rest of their life...my advice is to stick to the book, even Mel Gibson did that...

Author: jeremy_paXXXman from Wales:
The scriptwriter for this movie should be made to cut a switch for himself to be whipped with.

Author: pip from United States {this poor imdb user had to resort to self-harm}:
there is something about Emma Thompson where every time she cries in a movie, I start tearing up myself.

and the best thread from the forums:
HARRY POOTER IS RETARTED!!!!

- 'Salty' Joe

No comments: