Monday, September 17, 2007

Holy Shrieking Shit! Led Zeppelin To Reform! (Oh, Who Fucking Cares?!)

(Legendary Rocker Robert Plant Pictured With Either B.P. Fallon Or A Terminally Ill Boy)

So they went through more groupies than the Who, took more drugs than the Who and supposedly stuffed a Great White Shark up a girl's front bottom (although I think that may have been the Who) but for me the news of a Zeppelin reunion is about as exciting as a Who concert, i.e., not very.

It's very likely that Page and Plant were spurred on by the huge success of the Rolling Stones'recent Forty Licks Tour, the greedy whores. But whereas the Stones'music means so much to so many people, Zeppelin, with the benefit of hindsight, seem clumsy, oafish and embarrassing to all but a few sweaty males over the age of 25. I will admit Battle of Evermore is a quite good, as is most of Zeppelin IV, but all the silly Tolkienesque mythology and songs about marauding Vikings appear downright laughable now. But as with every other one of these over the hill reunion shows you can guarantee that the tickets will be snapped up in about forty seconds flat.

Okay, I did go through a big Zeppelin phase in my late teens/early twenties but that was also around the time I was setting warehouse fires so there you go. I once read that during Zeppelin's groupie defiling heyday an increasingly deranged Jimmy Page liked to travel with a special suitcase filled with whips and other bondage gear. Page was also particularly fond of dressing up in full Nazi regalia and nipping out to indulge in a spot of recreational heroin abuse with the drag queens at his local transvestite club. Sounds like what I got up to this weekend! I kid, I kid.

The show is a tribute some dead person called Ahmet Ertegün* whoever he was (shit name mate! and if he's dead then why does he need a benefit?) so I can't even slag it off without looking like a prick. Actually fuck that, I'll give it a shot. Paolo "Somebody Please Stamp On My Larynx" Nutini is on the line-up. I suppose I could go along to heave a large rock in the direction of his head but that would require my actual bodily presence. Anyway, the Who reunion concert will take place on the 26th November at London's O2 arena. You can register for tickets here:


*Ed - Ahmet Ertegün co-founded Atlantic Records in 1947 and introduced the world to many wonderful artists including The Drifters, Ray Charles and Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young. What have you done you worthless internet hack?

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