Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Jessica Simpson Tops Idiotic List (but not for being an idiot!)

Claiming to be THE source for music 'news', Shoutmouth.com has put together a list of who they claim to be The Hottest Women in Music. Topping the list is aryan dolt-munt Jessispa Simpson, i wasn't even aware she was 'in music'. Other mentally deranged wrong-thoughts include deluded inside-out Praying Mantis Victoria Beckham, dead crow faced Simspon sister Ashlee, and the just plain bet-down Willa Ford, mind-fuckingly enough Nelly Furtado's reddner inducing 'look at me, i'm a sexy yoke now' schtick seems to have paid off aswell. Shoutmouth have set themselves some very stringent rules for this extremely non-vital gurn match: No Oldies! No Kiddies! No Pseudo Musicians! The banning's don't stretch to suicidal maniacs strangely enough.

Most worrying of all are some of the comments that accompany the bletcherous portraits, Kelly Clarkson has been 'hitting the Hagen Dazs', and Jewel 'still needs braces' then why are they on yr lame list? Paedo fantasies also feature sporadicly 'she would make the hottest fake 13-year old ever', 'his little sister is suddenly really hot' and the worst of all? 'Young girls, take note: Anorexia does work!'

The lists not all bad though Cat Power, M.I.A and someone called Katharine McPhee feature but where's stoner-eyed Annie Hardy, foul mouthed opera diva Anna Netrebko and Herman Dune sister Lisa Li-Lund? Where's Lovefoxx? Where's Joanna Newsom? Where's Elliot Gould?

Fux ache.

- RV.

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