Thursday, August 23, 2007

Michael Hutchence Will Wank Again!


Wow! What a week! Despite rumours to the contrary I am not actually dead. I woke up on Wednesday morning on the floor of the Clarendon Hotel, sans trousers, with a belt around my neck and half a lemon in my mouth. On a related topic, it seems that Michael Hutchence, celebrity auto erotic asphyxiator and frontman of Doors tribute band INXS, is set to return from beyond the grave. Hutchence, who famously wanked himself to death in a Sidney hotel room is to be the subject of a new rock bio-pic in development with, weirdly enough, Morgan Freeman's company Revelations Entertainment.

Slide Away will feature Hutchence's ghost guide his 11 year old daughter Tiger-Lily through various parts of his life, including taking her to the very hotel room where he bashed out his last. Despite what you may think I am not actually making this up. Presumably the sight of her old man blue faced, bulge-eyed, drooping cock in hand is how every father would want his daughter to remember him. Hayden Christianson, better known as the whingy twat who ruined Star Wars, is set to play Hutchence in what is likely to be the most fun filled family romp of the season.

- S.B.

1 comment:

selva said...

i celebrate my christmas holidays in Alpine Peaks i think this would be my memorable christmas in my life, i found the real happiness in my life